Friday, May 15, 2009

How else does one find love?

So I decided to share to story of how Mr. K and I met. It is not the thing movies are made of but it what my life is.

I had recently moved in with my best friend after realizing my marriage really had failed after pumping as much life into it as any one person could. That was part of the problem, as ONE person could. Now this was after being separated from my ex husband for nearly two years prior before trying to put our marriage on life support one last time for 4 months. I had dated during the previous separation but nothing was going anywhere and I was not up for being a good time girl any more and telling suitors that I did not was anything serious when I oh so much did. I wanted a family and to be with some one forever and not just cause it was convenient. I thought men did not want to hear that. So I knew my pool of males I knew where no good but where should I look?

I had done the friend of a friend.....Sometimes just cause you both are single it should not work out

Meet guys in a bar.....Yeah about that....

Church.....Have you met me.....

So it was on to the next dating dating services! I opted for cause of there cute commercial and promise if you are not matched you would get so many months for free. Now here is the problem, I had no clue what to write about me! This is where said best friend comes in. I had BF write my bio! I did tweak it but most of it was as someone else saw me. I learned there are alot of single and crazy men out there. And there are plenty that want to settle down like yesterday. And clingy, perverted, shallow, the list goes on and on. Well I decided to play the game. If I want something I go after it. I began once a week going thru a list of men that fit some of my ideal match profile (did not wanna be to specific and find myself with someone to close to my ex) and after reading their profiles if everything seems good I would wink at them. Then delete there profile from my list of potential suitors! Why? Cause I did not want to keep checking their profiles and seeing that they looked at my profile and "rejected" me. Some did not help this process cause they would message me "no thanks". But after a couple rounds of this I did talk to some nice sometimes crazy guys. Nothing I would consider going out with or heard in their voice that pushed me to a date with them. My friends told me I needed to actually meet these guys to know if they where not the one but I just knew.

Late one night I went thru my winking ritual and came across pk_kilton and he lived about 10 miles from me and was newly divorced and was very honest about his situation. His bio was long and well thought out and way better that my fabrication by BF bio. There where pics of him from a cruise with obvious cropping but there was something about him. So I winked and deleted him. I know very kindergartner!
The next day I went about my business and was at my office doing reports when I got a new message on match. It was from Kilton_pk. Hi thanks for the wink. If you want to chat my yahoo is kilton_pk. Take care. Wow so romantic! Well I am a sucker so I added him to my yahoo messager and continued about my day. That afternoon my messager blinked that my friend request had been accepted. Ok now the waiting game. He can see I am online but will he say hi. Because of the big ol girl I am, I could not say hi first that would seem desperate. Luckily before I could spend to much time worrying about if he would talk to me I had a chat window pop up.

kilton_pk: Hi there
YES! He contacted me!

Jenden121: Well hello there....
I know so not smooth!

We chatted back and forth for a couple hours that afternoon all while I reread his profile 463 times. He was witty and charming and seemed educated and down to earth and was going thru some inner turmoil not much different that my own. Thou he was the one to end his marriage he did care deeply for this woman that he spent years with. He seemed to be a hard worker and handy around the house. He did want be married and have children but before he had them with the wrong w
oman and feel stuck he opted out. I enjoyed these couple hours so much I did not want to end the conversation but it was now after 5 on a friday so I told him he could call me and gave him my number. He then informed me he did not think it was best if he called me. Heart crushed. I tell it it is fine and I understood he still had alot going on and would talk to him later on IM.

That evening I dissected him with BF and when over every detail of our conversation with her, to which she said just wait and see if we talk on messager again over the weekend. I did not think we would as he mentioned his HS reunion and going to his parents for the weekend.

The next morning I login to my laptop to do a couple things and my messager pops up from kilton_pk

Kilton_pk: I tried going thru the messages from yesterday and i did not save your number can I have it again? Oh and good morning!

Well what has changed over night? After giving him my number and talking for about an hour he promise
s to call once he got out of Houston heading to his parents house. So after taking a shower with the phone on high next to the tub and other craziness an unknown number calls. IT IS HIM! My heart races a little. Gaining my composure I answer and proceed to talk to Kilton_pk for @ 2 hours and think we had a connection and that he was very easy to talk to. I tell him all about my life and what type of ice cream everyone in my family likes, and about my job, and my divorce, my friends. He arrives at his parents and gets off the phone with me. Again there is a connection and I go about my business.

Now during this time I am trying not to build the party girl status that I previously had so I am opting to stay in on a Saturday night. Some what relaxing but slightly boring if there is no one there with you. So playing on my laptop till wee hours of the morning checking my messager t
o see if any one (IE kilton_pk) is online, which he is but on mobile and don"t wanna message him and seem needy cause I know he is with friends and such, when I get an IM from kilton_pk asking if I am up and can he call me. Heart flutter. Sure you can call me! To which he replies he is drunk and is going to take and shower and call in 10 mins. Great.

To anyone that knows me I have received several of the 1 in the morning "I am drunk calls" and they are never good. I regress back to my dad saying there is nothing good going on after 9pm and not need to talk on the phone after that unless you are bleeding or dying. What kinda call is this going to be. The only good thing about this call is he is 180 miles away and can"t ask to come over or me go over there.

So he call
s and does not seem that drunk and we pick up where we left off from the conversation that afternoon and I learn about his family and how his reunion went, and how small his HS was. We talked til @ 4 in the morning. We bid ado and I fell asleep.

The next day, Sunday, I spend with Ms. Pretty Girl and dissected him apart to which she stopped me and tried to bestow all her online dating know it all on me. I had gathered at this point his house was on the market for sell and he had a myspace so I stalked both and showed all evidence to MPG which everything checked out with what he had told me. I even found his ex, that had a blog about the demise of their marriage and thou she was hurt, her post proved he was honest with me about the facts. MPG told me I would have to meet this guy and go on a REAL date with him. Shudder. What if he does not like me?

We spoke again than
evening and talked a little about our weeks. During this time kilton_pk was learning how to text, so I would get text randomly from him over the next couple days. I knew he bowled on Tuesdays and had Weds off. By midday Monday I knew I was going to have a tough week at work. I had already decided to leave my company but had not told them due to being owed alot of commission and knowing I would not get it if I put in notice yet. Kilton_pk invited me to come to his bowling on Tuesday and he would buy me a beer and we could meet with no pressure. HA no pressure!

That day after many meeting and stress over several projects that were crumpling due to lack of funding I was ready for a drink or to go to sleep! I rushed home and changed clothes (several times). And headed to the bowling alley.
I arrived at the Bowling alley about 15 mins after the time a said I would be there and he was not hard to find (6'4" with a Blue Bell cap) and we hugged and I met several of his co workers and I watched him bowl. Now I am not a bowler, nor a big fan that I know the rules of it other that pick up the ball and throw it in the general direction of the pins all while not wanting to fall on your face. He did not do bad and after every spare or strike you give high fives. Now doing this I just put my hand up and kinda waited til he took his away to put my hand down. I know ever so graceful. Well to kilton_pk he liked the attention so like by little he moved closer and closer to me. Til by the time bowling was over he was sitting beside me with his arms just about wrapped around me. We decided to go eat dinner at a little Mexican food restaurant nearby he knew so we could talk more.

At this time I find out what he really thinks because I realized then that I was leading most the conversation. He tells me he nearly never called me after the first time cause I never stopped talking and I talked so fast he did not understand a word I said! Wow! He was glad he called me late that night because between me being tired and him being buzzed he understand me enough to decide he might like me! Awww!

We finish dinner and sit there til they just about kick us out the door and we proceed to sit on the tail bed of his truck and talk for several hours. By now we have moved onto kissing and there is the tingly feeling and funny stomach things going on. Finally he walks me to my car to which decides to not start right away and then we leave the restaurant. Which I try the drive thru a concrete median. WOW what has this man done to me.......

to be continued......

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